Studying things

Sometimes studying things makes me very depressed and excited at the same time.

For example, right now I'm doing a paper on maternal mortality rates (MMR) in Bolivia--I keep finding information, some of it contradicting each other, but it's highly interesting--and I'm excited that I'm actually getting excited about getting to write about something I feel passionate about.

The bad parts--the material is not happy news. Although certain types of abortion are legal in Bolivia since 1973, only 6 have taken place. That's about 40 years. of course, about 119 illegal ones take place every day in unsanitary conditions, 30% of MMR is a result of complications from illegal abortions, over half the people raped in Bolivia are underage, Catholic officials want to excommunicate a brave legislator who decided 12-year-old girl who was raped could get a legal abortion...

The other bad part: I keep reading, and nothing is getting written. Almost nothing.

The good part: I think I want to go to grad school and write my dissertation about the politics of reproductive rights in Latin America.

The bad part: I'm afraid to go to Bolivia because sexual violence is the norm, and I don't speak Quechua.